People do not change, but people change


If you have ever set yourself to the task of changing an adult, you must know how next to impossible that is. Friends try in futility to change one another. It just hardly ever works. People get into relationships and marriage with the mindset that they will change their partner – and wake up sooner or later to the reality that as a rule, people do not change for anyone. People will stay true to themselves regardless of how badly you need them to be different.

But then, there is a flip side to this: people do change. Yes; they do, but the motivation has to be right. People change when it serves their own best interest to adapt to certain circumstances. In other words, self-preservation is the only non-divine force that produces a change in the behaviour or character of human beings. The self preservation may have to do with health, work, or relationships. A person will adjust long established behaviour patterns when he sees or perceives (rightly or wrongly) that his interests are on the line.

Trying to get your friend, children, or partner to change is mostly an exercise in futility. However, should a situation arise in which their interests or well being is threatened, almost any person will rise up and embrace change. And then, complacency eventually sets in again once the threat is out of the way. Yes; we human beings are crazy like that.


  1. chukky September 20, 2013
  2. EyeBeeKay September 20, 2013

Add Comment