What caused a 4-0 thrashing for Man United?

Everyone is still talking about Chelsea. Specifically, the spectacular thrashing they handed Manchester United. It has passed, however, which means I will not be talking about it ever again. Just kidding; here’s how Chelsea drilled four past Manchester United:

First, they scored one goal. Then they scored another goal. After that, they scored another goal. Then they scored another goal. Pretty straightforward, isn’t it? Now, I have a question for you guys. What did Jose Mourinho and Manchester United do wrong this time, to earn a 4-0 thrashing?

First, Smalling let Pedro run past him and score. Then Smalling let Gary Cahill run past him and score. Next, Smalling let Eden Hazard dribble past him and score. Then Smalling let N’Golo Kante dribble past him and score. What’s the common denominator? Yes, that’s right: Chris Smalling. Not that his teammates were particularly outstanding, but the United captain for the day was caught sleeping four times. I guess the 4-0 thrashing reflected how easy it was for him to fall asleep on his feet.

Also, United’s powerful defensive midfielders were taught a huge lesson. The lesson was that 89 million Euros is a responsibility, not a fancy title. If you ever have that title placed on you, and you fail to control the game, people will begin to look askance at you. This was the kind of match that Paul Pogba was signed for; the million-dollar games with the biggest clubs. I do not understand why the former Juventus man would ever not be in control of a football match. I mean, all that dabbing has to have some backup now, shouldn’t it? Especially since the Red Devils have suffered a humiliating 4-0 thrashing at the hands of their perennial rivals.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic is probably kicking himself right now. He had a golden opportunity to fly to America or China, where he would not be the center of attention so much, but would still score loads of goals. He instead chose to play for Manchester United, where every eye would be on him, whether he played well or not. Now, he’s floundering; this is his worst start to a season in the last nine years. And the title is slipping away from him with every day that breaks. I wonder how much a ticket to the MLS costs these days. . .

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