This street preacher didn’t expect what I did

It was not yet 5am when the voice of a street preacher shattered the quietness of the morning. This was not the first time it was happening. It isn’t a rarity to find Street preachers waking one up early in the morning. But I had had enough of it.

I stepped out of the house, out of the yard and into the street. I knew what to expect. His limited mind would see me as the devil. He would be glad he was being persecuted for the name of Christ. And he would attempt to guilt-trip me into “accepting Christ” and receiving peace. But he would be up against the wrong person.

street preacher

I found him standing right outside my gate. As quietly, gently and clearly as possible, I asked him to move away from the front of my residence. He walked a few metres away without pausing his preaching. I felt satisfied and went back in. But I had barely closed the gate when his voice rose again. I could deduce that he had turned around and was coming back. I stepped back out and walked right up to him.

He had to leave and go pick another spot for his sermon, I insisted. Then he began to fulfill every one of the prophecies I gave above. He told me Jesus owned the earth and so he could preach anywhere. I stood my ground. This was my residence and I had the right not to be disturbed at 5am, I replied. He could go stand in front of his own residence to preach (which he wasn’t likely to do because his landlord would throw his things out).

In all this, not once did I raise my voice or insult him. I just wanted my peace and quiet and kept asking him to leave the spot. I begged him in the name of Jesus to respect my desire for peace and quiet. He preached back at me. I told him I had no problem with Jesus but with his noise. He couldn’t understand the concept.

So, I took photos and told him I would get the state ministry of environment on his case. In response, he told me that God is bigger than government. He conveniently forgot the part of the Bible that says to submit to the laws of the state. Whatever. This was my turf and he had to respect my civil rights. So, I got up really close and stood facing him with my arms folded across my chest. I was not going to get into a physical altercation, but I wasn’t going to give up my right to peace and quiet.

Whether it was my physical build that finally intimidated him, or the look on my face, or it was the same Holy Spirit who He claimed sent him to preach at my gate that now prevailed on him to back off, he finally did back off. He found another spot and preached at a lower volume. Good enough for me. I could enjoy my morning without his high-pitched screeching and the intermittent worship songs delivered off-key.

I know I will be the subject of his testimony in church today. I am pleased to be so talked about on account of the name of the Lord. Happy Sunday, people. God bless you.

Mister Mo

Crazy, fun, a bundle of energy, chief Baby Boy of the friendzone, and tells amazing stories!

6 thoughts on “This street preacher didn’t expect what I did

  1. Lolz…
    The problem we face as the Body of Christ is not recognizing the changing times. What worked years ago might not work again today. When you talk like this to some, they reply that they want the ‘old time religion’ (conveniently choosing what is old time or not(I won’t go into that). But the thing is, we keep evolving as a society and there are more effective modern methods of preaching the gospel without being a nuisance.
    Most annoying is the fact that most preachers preach their doctrines rather than the Gospel of Jesus Christ…

  2. Kay, I don’t even think these kind of people care about changing times and ministries. It’s zeal without wisdom, plain and simple.

    Mister Mo, what used to work for us was having a big dog ?. No one ever bothered to stop outside our gate, not even for okadas.

    1. LOL. Great idea! I’d get a dog too, but I don’t have the time and energy to care for one at this time. Perhaps sometime in the future.

      1. 1 Get a recording of the dog.

        2 Scratch on your gate.

        3 Then say “back Bingo/dogs name!!”

        4 Attempt to open gate

        5 Play more frantic dog barking recording

        I’ll bet by the time you open the gate, said street preacher will be gone ?

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