Should you reveal all your income to your spouse?

So, this morning, I got asked:

As a rule, the right thing to do in marriage is full disclosure. Your spouse should know exactly how much you earn, and you should know how much your partner earns too. If there are no issues, why would anyone want to keep that information from their spouse?

But note the clause, if there are no issues. In reality, there are sometimes situations that require exceptions to the rule. Under certain circumstances, there are issues that make it necessary to be discrete about your income. In such cases, it just might be wise to hold back certain information.

For example, should a husband be that person who collects his salary and spends it on booze and returns home again and again to demand money from his wife, it is time for her to have a think about it. Because of his irresponsibility, she is probably already carrying the financial burden of the home: rent, school fees, feeding, and other things. Despite all of that, she will need to save for the future and take care of herself as well. She must learn to say “No” to his demands for money.

Also, in the above scenario, should she experience an increase in income or some money comes in from an investment she made or something of the sort, it is my opinion that she would be acting foolishly disclosing this to him. She needs to protect herself and the children by keeping information of her extra income from him (we are assuming here that he already knows what she used to earn).

There are other scenarios, and this applies both ways. Should a wife too be constituting herself a nuisance or acting irresponsibly financially, I would recommend that it is time for the man to consider withholding information, especially if she would use that information selfishly or to hurt him or the family.

By all means, the standard approach is to withhold nothing and be transparent. However, where experience with a spouse indicates that full transparency is not expedient, then by all means be wise and withhold information. Not everyone handles truth, honesty and openness responsibly. Sadly.

Mister Mobility

Storyteller. Mobile connoisseur. Adventurer. See his detailed profile.

4 thoughts on “Should you reveal all your income to your spouse?

  1. As Rightly Pointed Out, It Depends On The Spouse And The State Of Relationship They Have.

    Ideally, There Should Be Full Disclosure In Marriage, But Are All Things Always Equal?

    Lots Of Marriages Are Farcical Asks Should Be Termed Cohabitation, Instead.

    The Fact That Most Women Think With Their Hearts Rather Than Their Heads Is Often A Problem On Practical Issues Like Finances…

    So, Don’t Get Blinded With Love In Deciding On Practical Matters.. Know Your Spouse Before Taking Decisions And Positions..

  2. I will never understand sometimes what the concept of “marriage” and “relationship” and “communicating” means in the Nigerian sphere. I hear so many contradictory bits of information I can only presume too many people have grown up with very bad examples of male and female relationships and marriage.

    The sad reality is that a lot of people get into relationships and like to pretend and – let’s face it – lie. Anyone going into marriage and chooses not to be aware of the financial status of their intended is headed for trouble.

    Any man who wants to keep his salary secret from his wife or any woman who feels her husband’s salary is to manage the household while she goes on a shopping spree with her own, are both fools.

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