Meet the creator of the “husband snatcher”

I have no idea who the specific individual is, but I have his/her profile figured out. I am pretty sure that the term “husband snatcher” (and its twin variant “wife snatcher”) was invented by someone who was in denial about the fact that their spouse CHOSE someone else over them. I know the pain of rejection can do that to a person. It is much easier to pin the blame of the incident on someone else than admit that this person who committed to you has chosen to be with someone other than you.

Emotional pain is a horrible thing, and it can push people to do extreme things. Like embrace denial. Denial masks reality. It is an attempt to block the pain that reality would mete out. Rather than face that pain, that shock, that brutal fact that our partner has rejected us, we spin it and pull out the “husband snatcher” or “wife snatcher” card. Someone created it, and the rest of us embraced it as a way of dealing with the pain.

But as an acquaintance of mine has succinctly put it, there is no husband or wife snatcher. No man or woman can be snatched from their spouse without their consent. It is a bogeyman – cooked up in our minds and feared by many.

It boils down to the choices that we as individuals make. Our spouses make choices that put other things over us in many other areas – work, children, money, friends, and dreams. We see it clearly in those situations and accept the truth without fuss. It is rejection in different guises, yet we face the truth in those situations.

We must face the truth in this matter too: your spouse made a choice here as well. No-one snatched him or her from you. Sometimes, that choice is made because your partner is a jerk. Sometimes, it is because you are the jerk. Perhaps both of you are darned partners in jerk-hood. Whatever it is, your partner made a choice. Wake up. Deal with it however you choose to. But let go of the bogeyman. Face the truth. It has a way of setting you free.


  1. Noni June 12, 2014
  2. Gladchic June 12, 2014

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